It's as Easy as 1, 2, -3

Cookie Monster is swiping an apple?
That's just plain wrong.

At our last rehearsal, we had some problems ending together on Baby, Get Lost. Actually, we have this problem more often than not. I could hear quite a few different entrances on the last note. That got me thinking...what's going on here? Slow tempo, uncomplicated rhythm, and the entire band has the same figure in unison. What gives? 

Here's the figure, taken from my part (2nd trombone, key is Ab ). 


Hear it on YouTube- go to 3:33 to hear the figure shown above.

The short explanation is: We're not all holding that half note in the last measure to its full marked value, and not counting as the half note is being played. The fix is simple, but maybe not easy: Count, and hold this note out to the downbeat of three. That '-3' written above the staff is a reminder to do just that. See page four of this excellent article for a slightly longer explanation. Note that the author mentions that this sort of thing is a very common and very bad habit. 

So that was the short explanation. Below is the looooong explanation where I dissect this beast in gory details.

Still reading? Oh, you're such a masochist. I guess you really are ready for pain and suffering. Let's press on, shall we?

If you're not keeping track of the beat, you can't know precisely when to release that half note. The tendency is to release early, especially at the slow, raunchy tempo of this tune. Listen to it again. That half note seems to last an eternity, doesn't it? Now listen to it again, and this time count out loud as that figure is played. You'll find they end in perfect time. 

The problem comes in because regardless of how long that half note is played, you then immediately proceed to the eighth rest and then the last note. But if you weren't counting and cut that half note short, an indeterminate amount of that half note's value simply disappears, causing everything after it to shift up by the same amount. Ergo the early entrance on the last note. Admittedly, the syncopation from the eighth note tied in the from the previous measure adds a little twist.

No, no. A thought experiment. Silly.

Imagine this thought experiment:

Without a metronome, it's not easy to spot this mistake if just one person is playing completely alone. But now put the same person in with the rest of the band, which we're going to assume plays it correctly. Our test subject comes in early, and now the early entrance is obvious because there's something to compare it to. 

Now imagine what would happen when you start increasing the number of people who play it incorrectly. At two incorrect players, there's eleven right and two wrong. Then ten right and three wrong. And so on. (I'm assuming thirteen horns- four trumpets, four trombones, five saxophones). But remember that each incorrect player will play his own version, depending on how long they played that half note. So with one incorrect player, there's two versions of that entrance going. Two incorrect, three versions; three incorrect, four versions, etc. 

Because it's hard to keep make sense of more than a couple things happening simultaneously, there a perceived acceleration of chaos with each additional incorrect player. In other words, each additional incorrect player brings even more chaos than the last one. Visually:

I don't think it takes more than two incorrect players to throw off the whole band.

So that's why counting as if your life depends on it is so important! Don't rely on the drummer to count for you. Actually, the reason the phrase I talked about above goes wrong is because the drummer isn't keeping time at this particular point. Don't believe me? Listen to it again.  

In other words, the tide goes out, and we get to see who's swimming naked.